Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and you should not procrastinate in your endeavors to wow your significant other. Forget the box of cheap chocolates and flowers that shrivel up and die. You should go for DIY and homemade gifts this year. Duh, according to every social media site homemade means that you love the person more than if you were to give them a store bought gift. Store bought? In the words of Jimmy Fallon’s Sara (with no H) . . .
You need to show your rare unending love with unicorn poop cookies.
Unicorns are rare, yes. But have you ever seen their poop?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Make your Pookie Bear or Schnookums these beautiful rainbow treats made of love and magic and they will love you forever*.
*That statement may, or may not, be true. Yeah . . . it’s not true.
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Not into Valentine’s Day? Or are you forever alone? Or do you laugh at the face of love like the Grinch of this holiday of affections?
Then just make plain poop cookies*.
*They should look like real poop, not actually contain excrement. Yuck.
You can even add some sugar google eyes and it will look just the the endearing emoji of feces himself.
Think of all the times that this would come in handy? How many times have you wanted to make poop cookies just to get the point across?
Office party? Family get-together? An ex that won’t take a hint?
Nothing says “I don’t love you” like giving someone poop in pastry form. Because giving someone real poop is crossing the line. But in cookie form it is acceptable. Right?
Or maybe you just want the whole kitten caboodle and you want more than just the unicorn poop itself. Maybe you want the poop and the rainbows and the unicorn to boot. Well, there are cookies cutters for that too. You can get the whole kit!
You should get your rainbow-sparkle-unicorniness fix for sure!
You can make piles and piles of rainbow (or original ) poos to your dark little heart’s content as these cookie cutters are built to last. In the words of the manufacturer themselves, “This may be a poo-shaped cookie cutter, but it’s certainly not crappy!”
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