With the upcoming elections, many Americans are thinking about their options. No, not who they are going to vote for, but what country that they are going to move to when the new president is elected. . . whoever that might be.
Since our options are limited, we need to look to our neighbors for a place to live for a period of around 4 to 8 years.
Our Canadian neighbors seem like a good bet.
They may have a few weird nuances, but you can quickly act and sound just like them with this breath spray. It is minty cool and fresh, just like our friends to the north.
You’ll be saying “Ya, you betcha” in no time. It also helps you to pronounce place names like Quebec, Saskatchewan, Tatamgouche, and Whycocomagh.
Not only will it help you with the accent and sounding Canadian, but it will also instantly give you a craving for maple syrup so strong you’ll want to have it on a continuous IV drip 24/7. Also, you will love hockey more than your first born, who you would sell for season tickets to said sport.
The 10 feet of daily snowfall won’t bother you either. You’ll embrace it by snowmobiling to work instead of driving a lame ol car. You’ll won’t be weirded out by buying milk in a bag. And Tim Horton’s will be your new fav place to hang out. You can do all this while having fresh breath, as it is a breath spray after all.
Also, don’t worry about the large influx of people from America causing a sudden overpopulation for the Canadians. They will still have more moose than people.
So, no need to fear the impending election. You can now just defect to Canada. They will welcome you with open arms.
You know, they’re nice like that.